being attack!!!

today, after the metropolitan park, on the way back la, i really feel like being attack by 2 ppl... they keep asking question about someone la... i dun mind them asking wan, and im not angry or anything, but i really feel upset lor... coz all of them is just hearing one side of the story... and when im trying to explain, i start to think, actually, its no use explaining, coz no matter how many times i try to explain no one will understand, so why bother? so i just give up trying explaining, think whatever they want la... im very tired dy...

i dunno whats with human also, if i dun talk to him they say i heartless, or whatever it may be, if i talk to him, they say i naik miang, what they want? im not trying to please them, but i just dun wanna discourage a few ppl i know la... i really understand now why more and more ppl want to leave church...

anyways, after the conversation, i reached home and waited for my cousins to go home, then i went to my room and started to think a lot, why is it, always me getting blame for everything... and no one ever feels that way but me... that time i really wanted to tell the both of them, i know he is a good guy, but i dun like means i dun like, and i already told him clearly and strictly... i even hurt him... and i get hurt also... and do you think i had a choice, i dont, he himself wanted to wait for so long and i din even bother him... is that my fault?! i know that this person will read this, but im not trying to discourage or anything that you can think of la, but i really need to release everything that is stuck inside me... if i dun let it out, i might burst in anger one day...

blame it on me, coz im just unpredictable, no one can understand me, not even my mom, we might look very close, but she doesnt really understand me, so, even my mom cant understand me, not even other girls will, coz he just fall in love with a devil... that's his fault then... if they say im heartless, fine, heartless is what they get...