The other me

i dunno why, i am beginning to loose control of myself. nowadays, i want to hurt ppl, i want to do the things that Samantha WONT do... im really starting to loose myself, i dun really know who i am anymore... i dun wan ppl to worry about me... coz somehow, i enjoy being mean... the evil me is unleashing... haiz...

today i went for my make up class, i learnt v-shape, the make up was quite evil look, and i liked it... hehe, let me show you:-

haha... scary isn't it?

well, this is me, the devil who is eating me up, maybe i should edit and put 2 horns on head and a fork with me, and surrounding the photo is my kakitangans, hahahah!!! i really miss myself, its like not knowing urself anymore really give u goosebumps, what should i do? i know, all they say is pray la... but i dun wan to, that is my problem... i like it this way... im dying, thats why i force myself to come church, even if i dun feel like coming anymore... all those responsibilities.. haiz, and that particular member of my group...

last time, i use to enjoy taking up responsibilities, i want to serve!!! that was me... but now, i still like to serve but, im really afraid that one day i stop coming to church, who, what will i be?? 1 part of me is afraid and the other part is just waiting for me to say i quit.. i think sooner or later, i'll be giving up.. i dun know what to do anymore... ppl might ask, is it bcoz of my friend's influence? the answer is no, ive been in a bad school for 5 years, if it is, i would have already been gone by now. i really dun wanna leave Petra.. when everytime i read the bible, i dun understand it anymore... it just happened suddenly, but who cares?? everybody got their own life, own problems to solve in life, for what bother about ppl like me who is going crazy...

actually, i really wanted to go up to that particular member of my group and say, whats ur problem?! and say a lot of things that will hurt her, and make her feel worst than ever! and make her feel she was never important to me, the only reason i put up with her, i just because my group counts on me... im evil... truly a woman's heart is unpredictable, i'm also scared of myself now, i can do unimaginable things... coz i have thought about it, and it is not going to be me, if i ever did it... hahaha but somehow, i'm proud of it... but i wont say bad language la, coz personally, i dun like it as well... all the f-word and other more creative words coming out from their mouth... really feel like drilling all their teeth out, cut out their tongue and pull it out... make them eat it... or swallow it for all i care!

The Mushroom Omelete

Today, for lunch i cooked mushroom omelet... hahaha very nice leh... but this time i put cheese...






The inside of the egg... haha nice rite?? hehe...

21.04.2008

yesterday night, i really enjoyed it... hahaha i thought on my birthday nothing special will happen, coz, that is how i celebrate my birthday, normally la... hahaha...

yesterday night, richard, ritchie, tiong king, ka fai, henri, and of coz not forgetting me... hahaha went to look out point.. had our dinner then the cake!

this is the cake they bought


me with the cake...


Me going to cut the cake, and ritchie syok sendiri... hahaha


thank you guys... but missing the camera man.. richard!!

oh ya, not forgetting my mom bought a cake for me too but i choose wan la... very cute wan, haha...

TADA!!! cute right??? i like the mushroom... hahaha so cute..

I SUCK!

im embarassed... today's presentation really suck, if i am not wrong, i sang out of tune... but shueh-yi thought she sang out of tune, but i also dunno, but im pretty sure it's me.. I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK I SUCK!!!! I SUCK DAMN BIG!!!! sorry for being rude, but im really embarassed, but if for me to present something, i want it to be perfect. but it turns out to be a disaster!!!! im really sad...

Cold

sunday evening, i got really bad cold, keep sneezing all the time, until i feel so dizzy, but cannot sleep.. today also din go to work, somemore got cough... ARGH!!! my mom go buy me medicine... I HATE MEDICINE IT IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE!!! i wont eat it! i'd rather die!

after my piano class, 8 something, waiting for Jason to fetch me for practice, shit! i even forgot that today got practice, lucky i smsed shueh yi, she herself also forgot... hahaha.. so cham sick until wanna die still have to practice.. hahaha now no more voice dy... hope i can recover tomorrow la, now feel a bit better dy...

Im really scared, coz its been very long since i stand up on stage to sing solo or even duet... ARGH!!!! help me... im shaking even in practice, cannot imagine if im on stage on Sat... pray for me please....

now have to go to sleep dy, very tired..

yummy~~~

this 2 days i eat a lot a lot of delicious food! today i went to my kai yea's place eat lunch... haha!! my kai ma's cooking very nice!!! both of them are my mama's best friend, and they are Portuguese, other country punya olang la... today's lunch i eat a lot, today's dinner i also eat a lot... my popo's cooking also very good!! she cooked all my favorite!!! hahaha i feel so hang fok...

then yesterday i cook lunch for my mama in the office... i cook mushroom omelets and sausages... haha very nice oh... *drooling* hehe... too bad i forgot to take pictures... haiz, or not can post in here, too long din post pictures dy...

today i feel very happy, coz i din go to work... hehehe, me and my mama curi tulang... go gai gai.. ^^

Water Horse

yesterday i went to watch water horse with my sis and cousin... many ppl say the show is just ok... but i really love this show... very touching also... hahha,

today, i went to work as usual, but i got watch a movie there la, its classic comedy
something like Charlie Chaplin, but this one is called Buster Keaton, it's black and white, and only music, no talking, i thought it would be very boring, but before i knew it, i was addicted to it already... its really funny.. hahaha...
now im downloading some movies from some site, really boring... waiting for it to finish downloading...

on Saturday. i went badminton with my group, actually, i really dun know how to play. and because i dunno, i dun like to play... but they force me to play, ok lor, play lor... i was playing with mun teng, lee choo and yenteng... hahaha, after that i kindda enjoy playing with them, although im embarassing myself more than playing, but... i really enjoyed it! hahaha, and now, muscle ache on my right arm, somemore got 2 ppl squezze my right arm, first one is my cousin, then bising punya shueh yi, during meeting la, sakitnya...

finish crapping now... k la.. nitez

paper cut...

today during work, a client ask us to make 20 paper frame, and the frame is as think as mounting board, then David yap (friend) malas to do, so ask me to do, then ok lor.. do do do.... then the frame cut my middle finger, and it is really deep, then i was blur, staring at my finger.... while staring at it, i ask my mom

Me: Ma, got plaster a not?
Mom: palster? oh.. David, help me to take i cannot reach
David: oh ok
(david looking at me)
David: what happened?
Me: i cut my finger... (showing my finger to him)
David: cheh.... not bleeding also..
Me: ya wor... (squeeze very softly only)
the blood all come out...
Me: looking at my finger, then to david, david doing the same,
Me: plaster please....
David: oh... hahahahaha!!!!

apa la, like that still can laugh... its very painful actually... now reach home, my finger still bleeding a bit only, dun dare to touch water...

AARRGHH!!! tomorrow have to wake up 6.30 am to go work, just to jaga game stall, ish!!! why so early~~~~ nowadays my face pop up a few pimples dy, not enough sleep... haiz...