Trademark

why i suddenly post about this is because, recently i have ppl coming up to me in MSN telling me, wow! your voice is really nice~ i wish i can sing like you~ sing to me now! something like that and a lot more. And im really happy that ppl like these coming up to me and complimenting me, there's even someone who said, if there's no TVXQ, i think i'll be a fan of you. awesome right?! this is the best comment i've ever heard. AHAHAHAHA.

and it feels really weird, coz i dont sing much recently. i mean like, standing up on stage and sing. and then a lot a lot of ppl came and compliment me. AHAHAHA but im happy, that im known for my voice, because this talent comes frm God. but, whether is it going to give others a good or bad influence its another thing.

what i like about singing up on stage is when i look at the expressions of the audience. you know why? coz i like to see their impressed/shocked expression. im not trying to show off to them, but i am PROUD of my gift. when everytime i see their dropped-jaw and widen eyes faces... i'll think yup! this is how awesome my voice is! LOL! ok la, i didnt use the awesome word la. normally i would use good or something else. but having such a nice voice doesnt come from a very good experiance.

well, let me tell you a true story about myself.

my first song item was with Seh Weng, we sang a duet "you are my all in all" you guys know that song right, we started singing when we were erm... maybe 7/8 years old. that was my very first song item. then we grew up, and when i was form 1

i was in group bethany, and my first solo is in this group, in charged by yvonne. she really taught me a lot of things, like the parts and all, and the song that i sang is "Jesus, Lover of My Soul". of course i was freaking nervous, and yes, i did forget a few lines. but then yow looi gave me a nickname "Britney Spears in Disneyland". and john low called me "Micky Mouse". everything is going well right, well, not really, i had only a bit of confidence. then a brother called me one friday night.

M: hey Tania, we got song item practice tonight, can you come?
Me: oh.. ok...
M: ok, so i'll pick you up at about 8?
Me: ok.. see you.

the he came and picked me up at 8, then in the car

M: hey, you're singing solo you know?
Me: huh?! O.o!! oh.. ok... when is the song item?
M: tommorow...
Me: Tomorrow?!
M: dont worry, i know you can do this. it's a really easy song.
Me: oh.. okie...

the song wasnt easy.... you guys remembered the song, "Via Dolorosa"? in Easter musical cantata when i duet with Sook Kuan? yup.. its that hard. then, Saturday came. i stand up on stage. and NOTHING came out from my mouth. because there was just SO many people there. and i only had 1 hour and a half of practice yesterday. i stand there and stunned. for like about 5 minutes, then yow looi came and ask me, can i do this...? i just shook my head and got down from the stage and get my clothes, and just run upstairs to the toilet and cry... i cried for really long. and i never wanted to sing ever again. TRAGIC... LOL XD

until Onesimus when i was form 4. after 4 years without any practice, nigel and Sook Kuan wants me to sing solo in Song Fest. "chi gik" right? LOL. i really thought that they were joking. but as time comes, something said to me, "why not, give if another try? another chance? why not?" And i really believe that, that is God speaking to me. then i accepted. and it was tough! 4 years without any practice is really hard. they were pushing me and all, i can feel the stress. why? you know, my "opponents" are: Jocelyn, Eemay, and Linus. and 3 of them are really good singers. at least. more experiance and practices more than me.

i was so nervous until i cried. and kee leong was like so strict. many ppl coming up to me. "you know, its ok... you can do better." and they tell me the mistakes of each contestants and what can i learn from them. what to do and what not to do. and unfortunately, i am the last person to sing. and you have to think of the judges's feelings, after hearing so much, they get bored right? it was really hard to win.

but i won... i was really surprised, shocked... oh! and when i was singing, my whole group backed me up! how? ALL of them, gave me thumbs up while i was singing. i mean they played a really awesome part, and without them, i dont think i'll be able to smile through out the whole song. it was a really really BIG encouragement.

but now i do have to say that the song fest standard dropped a lot ever since there was Petra AMP. and the competitions are not so tight anymore. and i gotta pity those soloist nowadays they never sang solo b4! so i know how nervous you guys must be, but just enjoy urself win or loose doesnt not matter. Just sing for God.

so this is the whole thing, but i still got that phobia of singing solo. HAHAHHA. and i never sang solo after the boycott sketch anymore LOL. alright, all i wanna say is, i never thought that one day, people will look up to me, but now, ppl start to like me, and wanna sing like me, and i keep thinking, what if i was my oldself? i will be giving them really bad influence right?

i had this friend that im really close to, and mixing with this friend also influenced me a lot. (in a bad way) until my relationship went down and all. my behaviour, my attitude, my personality and all. then now i changed. into a better person, so watch what you're influencing others people! you wont know who else is watching your every move! especially those "popular" ones in church.

Just for you. My ♥

we were strangers, then we became friends, and now, we're best friends. i found my best friend. and it was you all along, thinking back of how we've met, its really from God's planning, that you are always there for me, listening to me, giving me advice. jokes with me, laughs with me and most importantly. cries with me. i can tell u anything, and you would keep it a secret. Surely, you're my best friend.


you surprise me in every different way, where i couldnt think of, you always post about me and made me touched and cried. ALL THE TIME. i hate and love you for that. you cried for me when i didnt know, and u help me without any complains. im always happy when you post about me. and i will keep staring at the post about me and read it all over again and never get bored of it. Surely, you are my best friend.


up till now only i realized i can count on you no matter what happens, i can tell you anything, and you would keep my secrets. i am so stupid to find this out now. i wish, i could have realized this a long time ago. and i wish that we would have met earlier. but God's timing is the best. so im happy for what we are now. Best Friends. you've always been there for me. Surely, you're my best friend.


i dont know how to make or even edit a poem. or say a touching speech for you. but you have those gifts and you use it to make me happy, to make me smile when im sad. so here, i wanna make my LONGEST post ever. Just for you. if any of you, are lazy to read.. well then... you can close this window now. because this is for my best friend. and YOU! yea you.. u MUST finish reading this. i dont care... because, You're my best friend.

wondering who is it? this is she~

Sure that i have many close friends and you WERE one of them. They are good to me, the listens to me, advice me and all. But not like you. Im not saying others are not good enough for me. They are good, but some how i 'gel' better with you. Although you are kindda younger than me, but when we're talking and sharing, It doesnt feel like im older than u at all.

Its too bad that we only have so little pictures of us together. So we should take more together next time. Plus! we have the same gift! Singing. I really hope that you wont be shy anymore and sing. Because, i really wanna have a duet with you~ so buck up and start singing okie?! and trust me, you do have a really sweet voice. And its really nice. I love it~!

These are the memories we had together, so i hope that we can make more of them.

Thanks for all the memories, you are actually, the only person who can see through my real feelings even if i was pretending. I am so surprised that when you told me, you still noticed that im sad even though im smiling, when we're making cookies =D, remember? And i thought my acting was pretty good. AHAHAHA. And no one could see it except you. and you know just how to make me happy.

i miss being in the same group with you~ we've been in the same group twice and i really never appreciate it. =( i hope we get another chance. And just so happens you like the same things i like, like Junsu and Kibum~~~~AHAHHAHA. we have so many things in common. And our comments on other ppl are about the same. Hahahha. we can talk for 5 hours and not get tired at all.

and you accept me for who i am. what i am and what im not. you make a lot of ppl like to stick to you. and that will make me jealous. hahahahha! coz you're mine! i've never seen you cry before. you're always cheerful. perhaps im not good in observing you. and you know what will hurt me, and what will make me angry. you know pretty much everything about me. you're almost like... my mother... but that is a good thing... AHAHHA. and when you are willing to trust me and share you secret with me. im so happy. and you remember things that i've said that even i myself cant remember. Thank you for everything~

I found my best friend. i found YOU.

The Karate Kid

this is a really nice show... and do you guys know who is this Jaden Smith? he is Will Smith's son! for those of you who doesnt know who is he, go google Will Smith image. no wonder when is was watching this movie i keep thinking he looked very familiar.. HAHHA. and he's kindda cute too. HAHAH.

this movie made me laugh and cry and laugh again... really touching. you guys should watch this movie... heheheheh

Mashed Potatoes

Hey, guys! most of you are aware that i have music on my bloggie. well, i've been listening to Hitz. FM. these few weeks. kindda got addicted to it. HAHAHA opps. If you are very close to me, you should know that i HATE listening to Radio. why? coz the DJs wont stop blabbing and blobbing and blooping... HAHA...

so these are the songs that i've been listening over and over again in Hitz. i dunno whether its 'Hits' or 'Hitz' dont care la. hahahah. oh, and what i love most is their prank calls.. its really hilarious.. i mean the way the victims reacted. HAHAH!

OK! to my Main Topic: MASHED POTATOES

well, whats so nice to blog about mashed potatoes right? this is really farnee.. i learn this from my grandma... if you are wondering, what is mashed potatoes to old people. its...

SALTED ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAH, coz my mom and i were making mashed potatoes, so after that when my grandma tasted it, she said.. what is this? salty ice cream ah? AHAHAHHAA. i love my popo! muacks!

Back from Perting Valley!

hey everyone! so tiring. but fun and exciting. and what my group achieved is unbelievable! champions for 3 days in a row! never in so many years a group achieved this. but whats more is our unity and spirit that we achieved, is much more precious than these. i gotta say, my group is better now.

and a lot of things that i have never expected, like the 'No Quarter' game. its really 'No Quarter'. and im proud that my group girls gave their all out. though, all of us say we're too tired, and i cant go on. but yet they still went on, and without a single argument. but loads of encouragement. im so so so so proud of them. and it is because of this. we achieved 11 rounds! when david told us, 11 rounds, we really thought we were the last. coz we thought that other group girls did more than us. and the process seemed so long and short. and all we saw was other ppl ahead of us.

i've learnt something, wanting to win is good, but winning or loosing does not matter at all. even if my group won for 3 days, but if we never felt closer. then even if we won, it means nothing. and if we still dont feel the bond of brother and sisterhood, it also means nothing, because these are so much more important than rankings. but if my group looses everytime, but we're closer each and everyday. i dont mind loosing to other groups at all!

and plus~ its just a game right? HAHAHAH! and we cannot be too proud, because if we loose, it will hurt our pride. REAL BAD. Remember that Jordans...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OK! my mom is really scary~ why? coz after i came back, i saw things like eye cream, and eye mask, then when we reached home from camp my mom said she boiled some aloe vera soup for us, its to soothe your throat, coz she knew that we would come back home with sore voices.

then yesterday night. while i was unpacking some stuff. and she was sleeping, then i wanted to put back my make up brush, so i saw on top of my brush pouch, theres a pen that looks like those magic colours u know? then i look at it properly, its actually a nail art pen. and yes i am happy.

and she brought back persimmons, oh, for those of you who doesnt know, thats my favorite fruit. scary huh? LOL. i know thats called LOVE, but at the same time scary, so many things poped up after camp. HAHAHA but i am happy. dont get me wrong. i love my mom too.

THANK YOU MOMMY~

MUACKS!!!!

Camp is coming soon!~

i cant believe its like 3 days before camp! so fast?! have you prepared your costume yet? i havent.. going to buy cloth later with mom. oh, for all you leaders out there. you may think its troublesome to make or think of a costume. but i learnt one thing from someone before.

though you dont feel like doing at all, but we dont wanna stumble members dont we? i really dont like Gala Night to tell you the truth. coz i hate dressing up like a chicken and walk around and let everyone see. i dont see the purpose of this event.

but sometimes, when we leaders dont make it a point that we dress up as something, then members will start to think, its not even important. so why bother? then slowly no one will bother about Gala Night. so even its not fun to you. make it fun for the members. not just leaders la, those members that have been here for quite long also la.

i am now so so so so buzy with camp and assignments. i cant even do both in one time. so tired. and after camp, most of you will be free. but i wont be. my asignments. midterm. Song Fest?! i think. i can die soon. LOL.

yest i watched this Michelle Phan's video. teaching you how to do ice green tea facial. its really easy to do. she is like the best make up Guru in youtube. and very beautiful as well. HA... i cant wait for CAMP!

PUAHAHAHAHAH!!!

this is so funny, i went to a Vegetarian Restaurant for my cousin brother's farewell dinner, as he will be going to UK tomorrow to study for 3 months. so this is their english translation in their menu.

*sweet and sour.
Vegetarian Goose
*Fish Head
*Salted Fish
This one... i really dunno

*Black Pepper Chicken
*Claypot
*Homemade~

ilyalalmtae?

This is so creative and romantic.

One day, a guy told a girl that he loves so much.

baby, in live, you always leave a lasting mark that affects everyone..

what do you mean?

there is a hidden meaning behind these words. try to figure it out. when you give up, i'll tell you

The next day, the girl couldnt find the hidden meaning of these words. so she asked him.
he told her to arrange all the first letters of all the words. starting from "in"...

so she got:
ilyalalmtae...

so she still didnt get it. then the guy said.

I LOVE YOU A LOT A LOT MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE.

this is so romantic and creative right?? HAHAHA i mean, think about it.
how can "in live, you always leave a lasting marking that affects everyone."
and turned to be : i love you a lot a lot more than anyone else. hehehehehehe

i've learnt something new today.

Opps! Junsu Kissed Me!

Im so Happy! hehehe. and when i saw this, i cant stop but to just stare at this picture for a long time. just what i needed after what happened today! Thank you my Darling, Honeybee, Sweetypie, Dearie Leechoo!

you know why junsu kissed me?

because he was thinking of me for a very long time, HAHA! and until he very malu while thinking of me. then one day he cannot tahan dy, while i was syok sendiri-ing. he come and kissed me.

-the end-

Frustrated.

hey guys, in college now, well i wanna share this to ALL guys. i wont tell who is it, because this is not my point.

ok, here goes, i was onlining, then, all the sudden, "H" (dont try to guess who is it, coz his name has nothing to do with the initial) smsed me, and ask.

Actually, i forgot what is the EXACT whole thing, so i will tell u what i remember la.


H: Samantha, in your opinion, what is love?
Me: to me, Love is sacrifice lor.
H: is it that i sacrifice myself and called in love?
Me: erm... not necessary sacrifice yourself la.
H: is it that the sacrifice worthy? why cant love be sweet? it just simple and it makes ppl happy

Me:well, to me, if you sacrifice for the person, you wont think whether its worthy or not lor. like, God wont think whether its worthy to die for us, and we are really unworthy for it. and i gave an example of a friend that i know, who has a few financial problems, and yet, he still buy something expensive to surprise his gf and make her happy.

H: Sacrifice has 2 types, 1. visible and 2. invisible. its like, you know your bf in financial problem, and you still wanna ask for something good? or go and suffer with him? Love is just a word, but the expression is more to it. why do ppl want to feel loved? have u ever thought of this? did ppl sacrifice for yourself? its easy to find a bf/gf but does the person match you?

*me feeling this is getting weird*
Me: do you think that girl asked for it? my whole point is, you think that girl deserves or worthy of that thing? no right? but yet her bf still buys for her, coz to him, she is worthy to have it. and this actually proves how much does this guy loves her.

H: hey, you know, Friday night, my house area got someone got robbed and now the person is in the hospital. If the person is me, i got robbed, still go and buy a reload for you and i end up in the hospital today, is this call sacrifice or naif?

Me: This is call stupidity, why you will go out in the middle of the night?

H: then? just to want to make you happy and touched, but i dont think you will thank for that. why? i think because the person is me right?

*getting a bit pissed, but controls. DEEP BREATH, i dont know what is he trying to say to me*
Me: No, because if you do that, i'm going to be blamed by your parents, and people will start to judge me, and remind you that i DID NOT ask you to buy anything for me.

H: im not in hospital. (duh.. like i dont know that...) ok... what did jenruw do? Good things to you? why?

Me: O.o?! why do you suddenly pull jenruw in this situation? and why do you wanna know?
H: just want to know, why you love him? did he sacrifice?
Me: i loved him for who he is. as simple as that. and yes, he did. his time, his money and a lot more.
H: Then? what happened now? why this happen?
Me: what do you want?! just get to the point and tell me what u want!
H: it links to 1 point, sacrifice makes people tired? didnt you think?
Me: well, i dont think so, if you really love this person, you will feel every sacrifice is worth it. (then i said something related to the bible. i forgot what is it la.)

H: you think every couple is willing to do that? dont use bible to talk to me for now.. but 1 person will sacrifice more, and will feel tired when this keeps go on, how long was your relationship? 2 months? 2 years? try 5 years... you will see it, this is just naif, if you sacrifice wat you expect? receive back right? but if it doesnt? will you so it again and again? God's love is perfect. we are human.

Me: i dont think thats true. i sacrificed for jenruw, and i would say, every bit of it WAS worth it. i argued with my mom, my relatives dont like him (except for my cousins). time and money. but still. i was happy when im with him. so why would you say that, means you never really loved?

H: Samantha, how long you were with Jenruw? 5 years you got try before? starting all sure sweet and nice, but how long will it last? you sacrifice time? just like that? eg. i wanna go shopping but i dont want, because i sacrifice for him. is this call sacrifice? you think it will last 5 year? how long were you with him?!

(is pissed off)
Me: You wanna win is it?! ok, i let u win, dont argue with me anymore. and how long me and jenruw is has nothing to do with you!

H: No! i dont wanna win! it just that sacrifice is not the way. sorry..

*then he keeps on calling and calling me, giving me difficulty to even reply my friend's msg*

H: dont like that la, sorry, pls answer my call.

Me: you know what?! i dont wanna know anything from you, you pissing me off is already worst enough. Whats your problem?! Jenruw and i wasnt long, happy?so i wont know that it is SO tiring at all ok?! now... piss off...

then keeps on calling, and i ignored, but the buzzing is too annoying, so i turn off my phone and charge it.

H: if you dont wanna answer my call, nvm, think yourself, you got brain right? why it doesnt last long? Did you learn from it?i take my risk to talk to you. i know u're angry. but love is a 2 sided thing? you not tired, but you make people tired. why? have you thought of other person's side? dont little things want people to "pujuk" you, not everyone can continually do this. they will get tired. but you're not, but i just want you to know still got ppl can love you wan.

WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY?!
Me: excuse me, Since when did i mm shong and want you to "pujuk" me?! and YOU are the one who started this topic. so now its my fault la?! very good. please dont talk to me anymore.

H: i meant it by when you couple. im sorry!!!

i still dunno what he wants and all. i feel so angry. he keeps trying to know about me and my past relationship with jenruw, why wanna remind me again?! does he even know how i feel when he says these?!

some of you might think i am wrong about this perspective but he ask for MY OPINION! since its my opinion, why would you wanna fight back?! and guess what, this fella is crazy.. he call me 56 times! i was so angry until i feel like my blood pressure went very high. just a feeling la though.

Enough said. enough done.

Jogging

just came out of the shower and now relaxing. jogging is fun when u have a companion by your side, i went jogging with my sis, and yes, im back to TRYING to diet again. LOL.

so, i hate a pretty healthy dinner. hah! i had kangkung and steam fish. hehehe. and i have to get back to eating 1 scoop of rice with steamed vegetables.. haih... i feel like a vegetarian already... =(
maybe this time i can add a few strips of chicken breast to steam? HAHA!

oh, when i dun wanna diet, i only feel like eating, but no cravings. but now when i wanna start my diet. the cravings come pouring in... what the heck?! pls spare me this time =( im very bad in self control. LOL. plus. i dont have a specific reason why i wanna diet.. =(

i will try this for a month and see how this goes ok? HAHA!