Trademark

why i suddenly post about this is because, recently i have ppl coming up to me in MSN telling me, wow! your voice is really nice~ i wish i can sing like you~ sing to me now! something like that and a lot more. And im really happy that ppl like these coming up to me and complimenting me, there's even someone who said, if there's no TVXQ, i think i'll be a fan of you. awesome right?! this is the best comment i've ever heard. AHAHAHAHA.

and it feels really weird, coz i dont sing much recently. i mean like, standing up on stage and sing. and then a lot a lot of ppl came and compliment me. AHAHAHA but im happy, that im known for my voice, because this talent comes frm God. but, whether is it going to give others a good or bad influence its another thing.

what i like about singing up on stage is when i look at the expressions of the audience. you know why? coz i like to see their impressed/shocked expression. im not trying to show off to them, but i am PROUD of my gift. when everytime i see their dropped-jaw and widen eyes faces... i'll think yup! this is how awesome my voice is! LOL! ok la, i didnt use the awesome word la. normally i would use good or something else. but having such a nice voice doesnt come from a very good experiance.

well, let me tell you a true story about myself.

my first song item was with Seh Weng, we sang a duet "you are my all in all" you guys know that song right, we started singing when we were erm... maybe 7/8 years old. that was my very first song item. then we grew up, and when i was form 1

i was in group bethany, and my first solo is in this group, in charged by yvonne. she really taught me a lot of things, like the parts and all, and the song that i sang is "Jesus, Lover of My Soul". of course i was freaking nervous, and yes, i did forget a few lines. but then yow looi gave me a nickname "Britney Spears in Disneyland". and john low called me "Micky Mouse". everything is going well right, well, not really, i had only a bit of confidence. then a brother called me one friday night.

M: hey Tania, we got song item practice tonight, can you come?
Me: oh.. ok...
M: ok, so i'll pick you up at about 8?
Me: ok.. see you.

the he came and picked me up at 8, then in the car

M: hey, you're singing solo you know?
Me: huh?! O.o!! oh.. ok... when is the song item?
M: tommorow...
Me: Tomorrow?!
M: dont worry, i know you can do this. it's a really easy song.
Me: oh.. okie...

the song wasnt easy.... you guys remembered the song, "Via Dolorosa"? in Easter musical cantata when i duet with Sook Kuan? yup.. its that hard. then, Saturday came. i stand up on stage. and NOTHING came out from my mouth. because there was just SO many people there. and i only had 1 hour and a half of practice yesterday. i stand there and stunned. for like about 5 minutes, then yow looi came and ask me, can i do this...? i just shook my head and got down from the stage and get my clothes, and just run upstairs to the toilet and cry... i cried for really long. and i never wanted to sing ever again. TRAGIC... LOL XD

until Onesimus when i was form 4. after 4 years without any practice, nigel and Sook Kuan wants me to sing solo in Song Fest. "chi gik" right? LOL. i really thought that they were joking. but as time comes, something said to me, "why not, give if another try? another chance? why not?" And i really believe that, that is God speaking to me. then i accepted. and it was tough! 4 years without any practice is really hard. they were pushing me and all, i can feel the stress. why? you know, my "opponents" are: Jocelyn, Eemay, and Linus. and 3 of them are really good singers. at least. more experiance and practices more than me.

i was so nervous until i cried. and kee leong was like so strict. many ppl coming up to me. "you know, its ok... you can do better." and they tell me the mistakes of each contestants and what can i learn from them. what to do and what not to do. and unfortunately, i am the last person to sing. and you have to think of the judges's feelings, after hearing so much, they get bored right? it was really hard to win.

but i won... i was really surprised, shocked... oh! and when i was singing, my whole group backed me up! how? ALL of them, gave me thumbs up while i was singing. i mean they played a really awesome part, and without them, i dont think i'll be able to smile through out the whole song. it was a really really BIG encouragement.

but now i do have to say that the song fest standard dropped a lot ever since there was Petra AMP. and the competitions are not so tight anymore. and i gotta pity those soloist nowadays they never sang solo b4! so i know how nervous you guys must be, but just enjoy urself win or loose doesnt not matter. Just sing for God.

so this is the whole thing, but i still got that phobia of singing solo. HAHAHHA. and i never sang solo after the boycott sketch anymore LOL. alright, all i wanna say is, i never thought that one day, people will look up to me, but now, ppl start to like me, and wanna sing like me, and i keep thinking, what if i was my oldself? i will be giving them really bad influence right?

i had this friend that im really close to, and mixing with this friend also influenced me a lot. (in a bad way) until my relationship went down and all. my behaviour, my attitude, my personality and all. then now i changed. into a better person, so watch what you're influencing others people! you wont know who else is watching your every move! especially those "popular" ones in church.