today i went for my make up class, i learnt v-shape, the make up was quite evil look, and i liked it... hehe, let me show you:-
haha... scary isn't it?
well, this is me, the devil who is eating me up, maybe i should edit and put 2 horns on head and a fork with me, and surrounding the photo is my kakitangans, hahahah!!! i really miss myself, its like not knowing urself anymore really give u goosebumps, what should i do? i know, all they say is pray la... but i dun wan to, that is my problem... i like it this way... im dying, thats why i force myself to come church, even if i dun feel like coming anymore... all those responsibilities.. haiz, and that particular member of my group...
last time, i use to enjoy taking up responsibilities, i want to serve!!! that was me... but now, i still like to serve but, im really afraid that one day i stop coming to church, who, what will i be?? 1 part of me is afraid and the other part is just waiting for me to say i quit.. i think sooner or later, i'll be giving up.. i dun know what to do anymore... ppl might ask, is it bcoz of my friend's influence? the answer is no, ive been in a bad school for 5 years, if it is, i would have already been gone by now. i really dun wanna leave Petra.. when everytime i read the bible, i dun understand it anymore... it just happened suddenly, but who cares?? everybody got their own life, own problems to solve in life, for what bother about ppl like me who is going crazy...
actually, i really wanted to go up to that particular member of my group and say, whats ur problem?! and say a lot of things that will hurt her, and make her feel worst than ever! and make her feel she was never important to me, the only reason i put up with her, i just because my group counts on me... im evil... truly a woman's heart is unpredictable, i'm also scared of myself now, i can do unimaginable things... coz i have thought about it, and it is not going to be me, if i ever did it... hahaha but somehow, i'm proud of it... but i wont say bad language la, coz personally, i dun like it as well... all the f-word and other more creative words coming out from their mouth... really feel like drilling all their teeth out, cut out their tongue and pull it out... make them eat it... or swallow it for all i care!
1 comment:
i totally understand how u feel now, cuz i experienced and am experiencing the same thing~~im pretty sure that u have read the story "dr jekyll and mr hyde"~~do u believe that there are two human nature in ourselves, one good n one bad, n both can be extremely different~~n u r jz carrying out the evil side of u~~wat u need to do is to fight against ur own evil nature~~
at least it is good that u realized that ur evil nature is being carried out, it's still not too late~~
Post a Comment