when we started, i didnt think we would last that long, because to me, before you, love never existed and not until you came, fell in love with me, though i hurt you so many times you still did not give up on me. u told me im the first girl who also made you really loved. andthe first girl you had to wait so long for. 2 and a half years of waiting is really long, and to you the time is not really wasted. because in the end you got what you wanted. i didnt expect we would last quite long, and each and everytime i see you, my love for you grows stronger and stronger, but i did not appreciate you that much,
i started to change in the process, changed into the another person, another character, no longer the same girl you fell in love with at first, i know you miss that me. i didnt listen to you. but i was trying so hard to change, but that character is already stucked into me already. i think you really did the right thing of dumping me, because, if you havent you wontbe in heaven now right?
i remember you asked me if ever there's a chance for you to really say a proper goodbye to me, and you wish to hug me and kiss me for the very last time. i was still quite angry at you at first, but i dont know why, something keep saying i should say yes. and i did. but we never get to chance to say goodbye after all. but, when i hugged your brother, i felt like im hugging you instead. i dunno why i feel that way. maybe because of the size. the memories you gave me are so precious no one ever had this because, im in the longest relationship with you, and im really proud of that, because our experiances are all first times, i mean most of them la. i also never loved a guy this long in my whole life also. and also some of them also ends with both of us.
memories like:-
*meeting each others parents
*going sabah with my mom
*playing L4D almost every night with your buddies
*our first subway
*our first bbq plaza
*Forcing me to say I Love You, in the end i ended up saying IOU~
*our arguments stupid and serious ones
*walking in KL with bare feet with me
*meeting mine and your relatives and i mean almost all of them.
*faking my hand is a machine gun and other ppl in the complex are zombies. and you started to shoot them with my hand.
*Running in the rain to the car together.
*our first snorkling together
*we love this song together, "When God Made You" we planned to sing for ppl's wedding, but dont have the chance to
*Went to the Eye of Malaysia our first time
*Making silly voices in the car to make me laugh.
*cooking for me. and you're really a good cook.
*helping me to do my assignments until late night
*helping you to do your assignment until 6am in the morning and you fell asleep!
*Going in and out of pet shops that we see.
*bullying my pets. (hitam and Mylo)
*Crying in front of me when you feel miserable.
*my first time going Sunway lagoon with you.
* Watching movies
*Arguing about where to live what house we want, arguing about children's name.
*when im mad you will stop the car one side until you made me laugh.
*dissapointing each other.
*went Chris Tomlin's concert.
*calling me nicknames like baby kangaroo, and subway (which i dont know why)
*buying you the jaime oliver cookbook that cost so much, but seeing that happy face of yours just doesnt matter anymore.
*Sharing our past lives how we lived and how we treated another ppl last time.
there are so much, until, i cannot stop crying when i keep typing.. i havent even finish, and i couldnt take it. i didnt know you called me subway, not until Sat when dillon told me
Dillon: Subway.
Me: what subway?
Dillon: Jenruw gave you this nickname
Me: no he didnt...
Dillon: yes he did... he just didnt tell you.
so here, i wanna post all our pictures. and this will be the very last time i will be doing this too.
the picture you took of me 
im happy that, most of the pictures of you with me are stupid faces or smiles. because looking back at those pictures i believe that you were really happy with me. you like to annoy me when i ask for a really nice picture with you smiling but instead you keep making stupid faces. but those were the times i really laughed out loud.
we did stupid things to make each other laugh, and that time i feel so stupid. but now, thinking back, i feel happy. baby kangaroo this nickname is when, we went Chris tomlin's concert, and we all were hungry, and got out to get something to eat. and after that, hanging outside, we were "fighting" like, imagining us in a boxing ring.. then i keep jumping with my my fist holding up and i punched him. he just keep laughing at me.. but then im not satisfied coz it didnt hurt him at all. and i punched really hard. he still laugh. and in his previous blog. he stated hitting him with soft punches. when i read i was like.. what soft?! where got soft?! hahahha. im happy now that i have these memories. and my greatest present from you its on valentines day. you gave me all the things that were memorable and important to you. which i loved it so much.
so with this memories, i wont forget you, and i can never do that. so, i can only live on and move on with my life like you always tell me too. so... See you soon you jerk... i'll claim my hugs and kisses and hitting and my birthday present when i see you in heaven.
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