Something to Ponder about...

Have you ever had a friend your age died? or maybe a friend that you really care so so so much about? maybe you been to funeral but never cried? well, apart from my dad's funeral, raymond's funeral is the 1st funeral that i cried on, then my dad's

i never though a friend my age would die so soon. well, this happened last year, he was my secondary school friend, and at the form 5 i think, he dropped out of school, before that he was really good, and even that time he turned bad, he still treated me very good. then we stop keeping in touch after we gradutated High School. then last year, one Sunday morning. another friend called which is also my guy best friend, 3 of us are really close, called me and tell me the news that he is dead.

i was really blur and stun and i didnt cry until during half of Sunday worship singsparation i started to "wake up". i didnt know why i was feeling like that earlier... but i didnt sing and i wasnt paying attention throughout the whole worship. then i keep asking God, is it my fault that he is going to Hell? i did try asking him to come to church, and when he came, he didnt like it. and left and didnt wanna come again.. so is it my fault?

i did try to ask him to come to church for the 2nd time but he always refused and i gave up trying.. so its my fault right? the more i think the more i wanted to cry, and i HATE to cry in front of other ppl, even ppl who are close to me, or even my parents. so i just tahan and tahan and i keep distracting myself from thinking... and then i failed.. i cried... and i ran upstairs...

then i keep thinking, all these while i been taking him for granted, didnt really appreciate him. he died in a gangster fight. i tried to stop him from joining them. but what can a girl do? so i think that i failed to stop him, i failed to bringing him to church. just because i keep giving up on him. im not emo recently because of this. but dunno why, just suddenly, he popped up in my mind.

i didnt dare to go to his funeral, coz according to my friend, he had an ugly death... and i didnt dare to face him.. so i had to sort out my feelings, after crying so much, i knew i had to stop and put up a smile so that no one worries about me. so, recently this other guy friend who called me, called me again, and asked if i wanted to go to his grave.. coz he didnt go to his funeral either. LOL. and i agreed just the 2 of us.

i dont know what made me to think about this, but all i want to say is, do you wanna regret like i did? no right? especially if you really have a close friend, and dont you guys ever think you have a lot of time, for, you wont know how long a life's gonna last. right? think about that, and make a decision.