Feeling of being NEW

Hey Everyone!

So, I've been meaning to talk about this but, i mostly forgot. i have no valid reason. hahaha.. sowee

Okie! so I hate the feeling of being new, as in being a newcomer. or making new friends. or trying new things. i am a person who will always stay in my comfort zone until i die, or get kicked/dragged out by force.

so even when in my comfort zone, has people that bullies/teases me, backstabbing me. i will still stay in it. Like, no matter what. because those are the people i know. and i'm comfortable with. even though they sometimes make me a little uncomfortable.  i especially hate going to new places such as a new church. please do not misunderstand, I AM A CHRISTIAN. I LOVE GOD, I DON'T HATE CHURCHES, I JUST HATE BEING NEW IN A CHURCH. I JUST HATE THE FEELING OF BEING NEW. 

The reason is because, you have to make new friends. im not a friendly type of person if you hadn't notice, because i am surprisingly SUPER SHY. and i normally wait for people to come talk to me. so i have been attending TNCC for a few months now, and nobody actually knows that i actually existed i guess, because after 3 months or so, still no one knew. so i guess it was pretty bad. i seriously felt lonely. and i knew i had to do something at least, but i didnt know what to do, so i started to maybe stay there a bit longer. and well, it kinda work, a bit, because aunties came and talk to me. hahaha.

So im not saying im super lonely, i do know a few people there, like the Hing Family, and Uncle Allan's family, Aunty Khoo and Randy, Seng Wai & Wai Chin. but you see, they have been there for a very long time, and i just joined recently, so obviously, they have their own friends by now. so most of the time i see them with their friends.

So my family signed up for their family camp. and this is nerve-wreaking for me. because im actually afraid that my camp would be like following the schedule exactly, unlike other people, free time means going out and hanging out with their friends. but im scared that free time for me means going back to my room and rot. and i wont go out by myself and sit at a place and watch people play, because that would be really pathetic. i know i stress on little things, Jenruw calls me a Drama Queen. but whatever. I'm scared.

I'm only friendly when i HAVE to be. like last time i used to be an Assistant Deputy, i HAVE to talk to new friends. i have no problem with that. because i was already in a place that im very comfortable with, because i grew up in the church. so yeah. plus i do not know what to pack. because i do not know what kind of stuff they will do. =\ so the camp will be this Friday. Hopefully i made new friends, and i will update on that.

And i seriously gotta remember to update my blog. dush! do remind me if someone is ACTUALLY STILL reading. hah.

=D

Random Updates 1

Hey Bloggers~!

Just some random updates on whats happening lately.

so lately, i resigned... =\ so that i can finish my nail art course. sigh...
so i do feel kind of guilty, sometimes i do enjoy working here, and sometimes i dont. but... of course i cant be there forever. so i will go back and finish my nail art course, and after that im planning to try doing freelance work, hope i can make it. im kinda scared though. =\ if it doesnt, it means i have to go look for a job then... hah.

today im very tired, i couldnt get much sleep yesterday, because of my upset stomach, its not diarrhea. its just really really REALLY uncomfortable... and i slept at 4am yesterday.. woke up at 9:30am... so im very sleepy now.. and the discomfort is still here. puts me in a very bad mood...

so these days, i am watching a lot of youtube videos, and i came across this youtuber "Jacksgap" they are British, and they are Twins! im always very attracted to twins, and wish that i myself was a twin.. their videos are really funny, u can go check them out in youtube if you're interested, but SOME of the videos has the "F" word. I usually watch them when im in a bad mood. hahaha. speaking of twins, Jayesslee has not been posting any videos for a while now. =\ hmm..

and also, recently i lost my phone. someone stole it, i feel really sad thinking about it, so dont ask... but good news, i will be getting a new phone soon, i guess. LOL. so i lost ALL my contacts, so if anyone i know is reading this, please do text me and tell me your name so that we can still keep in touch ;)
and this time, i wanna get a BIG phone, like Samsung Note or something...

OK so since im leaving the shop soon, me and my mom always had to really make sure that our staff knows what to do, especially when we're gone, but they are like so blur, and stupid? i know its not nice to say that but.. i seriously have no other words to describe them. so yea, i'm very worried.. and stressed out, i actually scolded one of them.. and it was my second time actually scolding a person. =\

But... even though im not feeling very well, im still happy lately, because in these following 3 months, 3 people i care a lot about is coming back from their studies, even though they are only here for holiday, but it feels good to get to see them even for a short period of time ^^... YAY~! im very excited about this. hopefully, i get to spend more time with them.  ^^

Sick

Hey readers, lol, at least i still know there's ppl who are actually still reading. keke... and i am so touched knowing that they still read even when i update like once in a blue moon.

Anyways, im sick, im seriously sick... i'm now currently having gastric, fever and diarrhea.. i dont know what is wrong with me. For gastric i know why, because since its a big sales going on recently, i have to order huge amount of stocks, and when they came in, we had to check stock, set up and make price tags and etc. by the time i looked at the time it was already 4pm++ and thats when i have my lunch for a few months. not daily though, only when there's stocks. so at least 1 week once. and adding up to every weekends we had to open till 11pm, and my dinner time is 12am. so yup... but i cant do anything about it.

fever and diarrhea, i really dont know whats wrong.. and why am i always sick?! i hate being sick... because i cannot eat and do the things i want too... like watch Iron Man 3 and eat spicy food or something... 

CURSE YOU SICKNESS!!!! LOL... and if you're wondering why i dont sound sick, it actually took me more than 1 and a half hour to only type this short short post. so in conclusion: i AM sick....

How Dare YOU!

i know i said i didnt want to post any rants, but i am seriously pissed..

Ok, here goes,

There's this guy, i will not reveal his real name, so lets called him G, he is a very annoying person. the worse thing is, he is my uncle's so called partner? i guess, but i dont really give a damn about him because i dont work for him.

and the only reason im working in this shop is just to mainly help out. at least thats what my mom told me what my uncle said. i do not know anything about business, or retail shops, or DISPLAY! so this G, once in a while will come over to the shop and lecture a few things, the first few times i understood what he wants. at least i got a hang of it. he always say he wants to make displays GRAND!

last few days, he came again, and you know what?? everytime, EVERYTIME he comes, im doing work, im actually doing work. i have to do stuff like inventory, stock check, and like what items i sold and how many of them, and since all my data was all gone because my external hard disk broke, i had to start from scratch. i had to make the format, and formula all over again, and key in all the item codes and descriptions again, and this shop has A LOT of stocks, and i get dizzy really fast when doing those stuff.

so in the morning i was printing all the sales report stuff, and he came, and of course, i had to pause. BECAUSE of him, and since i bought a new lappy (yay!)
i do it in my laptop most of the time.. so, he, i think, thought that i was playing games, or Facebook-ing, or watching something la. problem is i wasnt, and he starts lecturing, about our space problem saying u have to save as much space as you could in this shop because it is small. and gave us an estimation of how far apart the displays should be, and his conclusion, was as long as they can pass through SIDE-WAYS is more than enough space for customers to cross. after i heard that i was like WTH?! saying we have to be like Hong Kong and Japan countries that really saves space, in a way is Pasar Malam style la, last time he complained that our one area of our space is like Pasar Malam... And now he wants pasar malam?! How GRAND pasar malam is?!

And the worse part is after he came and left, he complained to my uncle saying this place is a mess, and then said that i have been playing on my computer... im not saying that i havent done that, i do facebook, i do play games, i do watch movies / Running man sometimes. it was only when i need a break from facing too much boxes and numbers sometimes i walk around the shop and serve customers as a break time la. And there are also times that i got to finish my work early i have nothing left to do. and im using my laptop... but when work suddenly comes up, i stop what i was doing as a free time and do it. HOW DARE HE! He's not even my boss. im already not complaining about the salary and the no off days. He has NO RIGHTS to boss me around at all..

but he told my uncle i KEPT watching. if i was doing those stuff when he was here and he complain to my uncle, fine i have nothing to say but to admit la, but i wasnt even doing that.. i switched on my lappy and went straight to my work file. and he somemore simply say stuff like this, and my mom was scolded by my uncle. of course my mom sure scold back la. my mom wont let anyone else bully us. hahaha...

and he expects so much of us like he freaking pays us! he doesnt even know that i dont have an off day, and he certainly dont know my salary, why should i work so freaking hard?? now the situation is, uncle owns the shop, but he doesnt know much about the stuff here, and its like i own the shop, but its not mine, i had customers asking how i achieved a shop like this at such a young age.. what the heck, is that even possible for me? LOL. or whenever my mom is here they thought its my mom's.

There are times i dont know what to do with the pile of stocks they ask me to order, because it was too huge for me to handle, and i somehow, Thank God, got through it, without a bit of help from my uncle. how can he now, take some man's word and thinks that i am like that?! and it was 3 mountains of stock, when i say mountain, i meant like as big as 3 statues of someone much taller and bigger than me. i had to do it all by myself, boxes after boxes, and of course, i only had 1 staff then, but when it came he was on leave. and my cousin that came wasnt much help, because all these are unfamiliar to them, which i dont blame them at all when i thought about it, at first i have to admit i was a little annoyed, but come to think of it, i cant blame them either. anyways it took me 3 days to finish everything. that was how bad it was.

I seriously would like G to come and manage everything on his own, with my pay, with no off day for half a year, at least... and with no knowledge of all these stuff. lets see how easy it is for him. and if he can treat customers the way i treat them.. most customers come back because they like the way my staffs, my mom, and me serves them. to the extend that when G came last few months ago, he thought that the customers was our relatives, im not bragging. but that is really how i trained my staff to serve customers, and how good we treat them.. i should run a restaurant instead. =p

i have so much to do, my cousin who thought that i just come in and open shop and then im free to do anything i want, when she knew i had to do so much she also taken a back. and she said she had no idea that i had to do all of these. i have friends asking me out at night but i cant due to my working hours, and when they asked, i explained, and all of them said the exact same thing to me, "girl, you have to sue your uncle."

even on CNY, my other cousin's wife knew about my working condition, and she was shocked, and she said it was unacceptable. and when other relatives said to her, "Aiyo, relatives ma, must help out lo.." she replied with a "SO WHAT?!"

I am not trying to show how good am i or saying its not my fault for anything,  but its just that i am pissed that, when i do something wrong, he complains about it, even scolds my mom for it. but when im working as hard as a cow. he doesnt know, and he doesnt care. my thinking is if he only knew how hard i worked, would he still agree / stand with his partner G?! since as a family, i helped you out, shouldnt you also as family have full trust in me that i only do those stuff to have a break? or just to relief stress sometimes. why do you only take the bad stuff that people say about me, but never care for the good stuff i do? why others can see it, but you cant? if you want someone to be so freaking perfect, hire someone else to do my job. other relatives said that by hiring me, he picked up gold, as in, where in the world would someone take this kind of job, with this kind of pay, and with no off day?

i feel much better.. hahaha.

My Boring CNY

안녕하세요 Dear Bloggie!

So, I only had 2 days of rest day, but it was no rest at all mainly because i try to cramp up all the things i wanna do for my off day, in 1/2 a day. yes, you heard me. =p

So, as usual, every year my house will have a lot of visitors so on the 1st day of CNY i couldnt go anywhere.

same as the 2nd day, but luckily for me, the relatives came and left early this year, so my sis and i went to The Curve and Ikano. Just because some of my to do list was Shopping and Ikea Meatballs. so i only manage to do 2, still happy though, i spent the whole afternoon till evening walking all around. it was fun but still tiring.

the picture above was the 3rd day of CNY

NOTE: What we did, was not included in my "Want-To-Do-List"

I was drunk, but not drunk like too drunk like you see in the movies

i was a bit tipsy, i did laugh a bit for no reason though.

haha.

My cousin however, got slightly more drunk than me, and start hitting me and sleeping on leg. 

She's dangerous.

Anyways, my Want-To-Do List was:

• Shopping
• Eat Ikea Meatballs
• Bake the Lemon Tart that i learn from the internet
• Go out have lunch/hang out with friends
• Go to Sephora and buy my Naked Pallete
• Play Left 4 Dead!
• Go Karaoke!
• Eat Sukiya
• Travel to Korea, Singapore, Sabah, Thailand!
• Make Korean Dishes from the Kimchi I made
• Lie in my bed for as long as i want!
• Watch a movie in the cinema
• Lastly, Find a Boyfriend. 

Kekekeke! i was just kidding with the Boyfriend thingy.. Seriously, i was really really kidding, stop thinking that it's true. im not that desperate, in fact, i feel that i don't need one right now.

Because i wont have time for him anyways.

Ya, ya, i know i was being a little too adventurous with my list, especially with the traveling part.. But that's just because i dont have an off day!

So yea, thats just it. 

The Brevity Of Life

Hi People~! If there's even anyone who still read this, hahaha... i know i havent update a lot... mainly because i dont have anything special or meaningful to post anyways, and i dont want to do post that i used to like the random stupid things or childish rants that i used to do... hahahaha.. 

Anyways, today i did my quiet time... i have to admit, i dont usually do them at all when i go to church often, but since now i cant go as often as i would want to, i start forcing myself to do quiet time, because i feel it is in this time i need him the most to not stray away from him, because working in Bangsar, well, it has a lot of temptations! and recently, i have been very very grumpy if i dont do my quiet time, some how, reading the bible, calms me down, and neutralize my mood.. maybe because working everyday makes me grumpy.. 

so, going to my topic of the day, The Brevity of Life, well, my english wasnt so good, so i had to go online to search for the meaning, it means the short time of human life, and yes i agree, well, this statement mildly hit me, because, i have been through a lot a lot of funerals, ever since i was young, and as i grow up, death doesnt seem like a threat at all.. i cannot recall how many funerals i have went, but only 3 affected me a lot, 

1. Raymond's Funeral, i wasnt close to him in anyway, but he helped my family a lot, when my mom was sick, and we had no one to work to bring food to the table, he helped us a lot.. i only knew when my mom recovered and suddenly wanted to give him money, and i was like, Why? and thats when she tell me the whole story, he did this in a very secretive way, i think, not many ppl even knew he did it. 

2. My dad, i hated that man all my life, and i even tell myself that when i see him, i will scold him and blame him for leaving us and never even came back to see us once, and also not even visiting my mom in the hospital. but when we reunited through a funeral of his eldest son, (his first family) my sis ran into his arms and i was just like when i was young, hiding behind my mom.. because the image i was had inside my head of him was, black hair, rather tall, handsome, but that man i see that day was, a little hunch backed, full of white and grey hair, and crying like no body's business when he saw my sis, and cried even harder when he saw me. Anyways, to cut the story short, we forgave and forget, and spent a lot of time together until he died.

3. Of course, for people who knows me Jen Ruw, well, i wont say much about him, because nothing matters anymore, even though he cause a lot of pain, anger and hatred.. but i Thank God, that he died, i know it sounds really bad, but if he hadn't, i would have never forgiven the both of them, i know i have my faults in the failed relationship, but saying giving me time to change and then 1 month later breaking up with me. and then 1 week later hearing rumors with another girl, doesnt help even a bit, (if there is 1 person who can change their bad habits in 1 month. pls introduce to me, i would really want to learn from that person.) he has many brother's to stand by his side, but i dont really care, but ever since he died, his real reason of breaking up with me, just slowly reveals it to me, and i gotta say, i am very dissapointed... dont get me wrong, i dont hate him. i forgave, but i still once in a while remember the times when he first started how happy i was and then would sigh on how it ends. Hahaha... but i still care for his mom, because she was very very nice to me.. 

So, since these 3 affected me so much, the conversation of death, is a very calm topic to me, im not sure whether calm is the word for that but, everytime when my friends or relatives we talk about death, they seemed so uptight, and in disbelief and keep saying touch wood... and i wanted to answer them back this: you think touching the wood would really save you from death?or even prolong your life? and why are you not accepting the fact, that one day no matter how old you are, you WILL die?? 

I saw a grave of a baby girl while going to visit my grandpa's grave, my ex, died even before he can make a family of his own which he wanted so so bad. and by the way, truthfully, i dont know whether he died because like what everybody said that God called him home, or is because he drank too much alcohol? because even though we broke up, we still remain friends, and chat online until very very very late, and all the sudden he told me he is craving for alcohol, and went out to the nearest shop to buy some. and with a hole in his heart since young, i seriously dont know the true cause of his death. I will ask God when i die.. and now the latest, a kid, missing and thrown into the river, and now they found his decomposed body...

So since we all are gonna die, why not just enjoy life in a healthy way, i dont mean to go encourage people to go clubs and drink till you're wasted, or go do crime because Y.O.L.O.. How i behave, and treat customers can also glorify God, in a way, i do not know how, but im sure i can, so yea, i have to control my mood, and not be so grumpy. so hopefully, one day i can get an off day, to start enjoying my life. hahha.. 

Offended? well, dont be, this is just my opinion.. i am not Emo btw.

You Can't Control The Length Of Your Life,

But You Can Control Its Depth.

by Our Daily Bread

Datin SO WHAT?!

Okay, This happened just a while ago, these 2 customer (Mother & Daughter) was walking towards the shop, and somehow, i already got that feeling of "Pleaseeeee dont come in!!!" but unfortunately they did, and the Mother was a very very rude person, that later i found out from her credit card, she was a Datin.

Anyways, the story goes like this, she was very impatient and wanting to leave the shop, which i gladly want her too, but because her daughter was shopping for organizing stuff for her new apartment, she has to stay, so, the Mother ask one of the Myanmar staff in the shop asking whether do we have big mugs,

Mother: Do you have big mugs? (weird accent)
Staff: Sorry, Excuse me?
Mother: OMG! do you want to sell some thing to us wan a not?! You're Standing there Dreaming!
Staff : Sorry, What did you say??
Mother: What? What?! Nothing!

and then she walks away, so with no one serving that customer, unfortunately i had to go.. and she was asking a lot of things, and she likes me A LOT! (which is a bad thing for me..) and then she starts to say:

Mother: This shop needs someone like you to stand at the front!
Me:  ahhh.. hahaha *smiles*
Mother: just now that boy! he is an idiot! he should'nt be standing at the front, he should'nt even be working here la.. he is dreaming!
Me: *stiff smile* its not that he is dreaming, its just that he is not Local, he is from Myanmar, he's english is not so good
Mother: OMG! Myanmar *begins to be racist*
Me: *forces a smile* (which is so damn difficult!)

Seriously?! just because you're rich and you have the title "Datin" gives u the green card to be rude and disrespectful?! Though she wasnt scolding me or saying about me, but the staff that she scolded is very hardworking, the only thing is that his english is slow, not everyone is perfect okay...

and then my mom walks in the shop and she ask me who is my mom, so i told her she is my mother, and she was like Oh!! thinking that we own the shop, and she start complaining to my mother about the staff, and says that she likes me a lot and that im very sweet, (it is because i have to)

Mother: Madam, your boy is so stupid, he really is and idiot, he shouldnt be working here,
Mom: Smiles, tries to explain what i explained to her
Mother: yes i know, but he is dreaming, i was so angry! I like her *points at me* you know who am i? i'm not a normal person u know? Darling, look at my card, see whats my name..
Me: Datin bla bla bla..
Mother: ah see, when i come and buy things i want good service, people who can understand english! not like that bugger..

and then she said the next time she will come again, and she wants me to serve her. my expression darken.. i really hope she wouldnt come back...

The daughter however was kind, sweet and polite, i wonder how did she get a sweet daughter when her attitude is like that.. she even rush her daughter and scolded her to Shut Up in front of me.. and when i look to her daughter she was like O.O|||

Rich or poor, we are all still HUMAN! its not like when you're dead you get to keep your money and your "Datin" title! I myself however, wants to credit myself of how good my acting was.. forcing out a smile to someone u really dont like at all is super super duper duper HARD! i didnt even know how i got through it until the end!

I'm happy that i manage to serve this demanding woman, but felt really bad and angry for the Myanmar boy, he's really kind and hardworking, he even cooks Myanmar traditional food for me, which was so YUMMY!! i couldnt even count how many type of their country's dishes i've tried!