Feeling of being NEW

Hey Everyone!

So, I've been meaning to talk about this but, i mostly forgot. i have no valid reason. hahaha.. sowee

Okie! so I hate the feeling of being new, as in being a newcomer. or making new friends. or trying new things. i am a person who will always stay in my comfort zone until i die, or get kicked/dragged out by force.

so even when in my comfort zone, has people that bullies/teases me, backstabbing me. i will still stay in it. Like, no matter what. because those are the people i know. and i'm comfortable with. even though they sometimes make me a little uncomfortable.  i especially hate going to new places such as a new church. please do not misunderstand, I AM A CHRISTIAN. I LOVE GOD, I DON'T HATE CHURCHES, I JUST HATE BEING NEW IN A CHURCH. I JUST HATE THE FEELING OF BEING NEW. 

The reason is because, you have to make new friends. im not a friendly type of person if you hadn't notice, because i am surprisingly SUPER SHY. and i normally wait for people to come talk to me. so i have been attending TNCC for a few months now, and nobody actually knows that i actually existed i guess, because after 3 months or so, still no one knew. so i guess it was pretty bad. i seriously felt lonely. and i knew i had to do something at least, but i didnt know what to do, so i started to maybe stay there a bit longer. and well, it kinda work, a bit, because aunties came and talk to me. hahaha.

So im not saying im super lonely, i do know a few people there, like the Hing Family, and Uncle Allan's family, Aunty Khoo and Randy, Seng Wai & Wai Chin. but you see, they have been there for a very long time, and i just joined recently, so obviously, they have their own friends by now. so most of the time i see them with their friends.

So my family signed up for their family camp. and this is nerve-wreaking for me. because im actually afraid that my camp would be like following the schedule exactly, unlike other people, free time means going out and hanging out with their friends. but im scared that free time for me means going back to my room and rot. and i wont go out by myself and sit at a place and watch people play, because that would be really pathetic. i know i stress on little things, Jenruw calls me a Drama Queen. but whatever. I'm scared.

I'm only friendly when i HAVE to be. like last time i used to be an Assistant Deputy, i HAVE to talk to new friends. i have no problem with that. because i was already in a place that im very comfortable with, because i grew up in the church. so yeah. plus i do not know what to pack. because i do not know what kind of stuff they will do. =\ so the camp will be this Friday. Hopefully i made new friends, and i will update on that.

And i seriously gotta remember to update my blog. dush! do remind me if someone is ACTUALLY STILL reading. hah.

=D