nearly died

just came back from dinner, what happened was, i nearly died while eating... it's true!!! dun laugh!

i was eating at the mamak stall la, as you know, a lot of ppl smoking wan la, and i actually, will sesak nafas whenever i smell cigarette smoke, but strangely i dun have asthma, my sis got, but my sis wont sesak nafas, strange right?
but this time is different, when i tengah eating right, i smell the smoke, and i couldnt breathe AT ALL! i was so scared!!! like im dying for that few minutes, i dunno how long la.. but it was really scary, i even scared my mom and my popo... now i really pantang ppl smoke...

worst experiance of my life!

being attack!!!

today, after the metropolitan park, on the way back la, i really feel like being attack by 2 ppl... they keep asking question about someone la... i dun mind them asking wan, and im not angry or anything, but i really feel upset lor... coz all of them is just hearing one side of the story... and when im trying to explain, i start to think, actually, its no use explaining, coz no matter how many times i try to explain no one will understand, so why bother? so i just give up trying explaining, think whatever they want la... im very tired dy...

i dunno whats with human also, if i dun talk to him they say i heartless, or whatever it may be, if i talk to him, they say i naik miang, what they want? im not trying to please them, but i just dun wanna discourage a few ppl i know la... i really understand now why more and more ppl want to leave church...

anyways, after the conversation, i reached home and waited for my cousins to go home, then i went to my room and started to think a lot, why is it, always me getting blame for everything... and no one ever feels that way but me... that time i really wanted to tell the both of them, i know he is a good guy, but i dun like means i dun like, and i already told him clearly and strictly... i even hurt him... and i get hurt also... and do you think i had a choice, i dont, he himself wanted to wait for so long and i din even bother him... is that my fault?! i know that this person will read this, but im not trying to discourage or anything that you can think of la, but i really need to release everything that is stuck inside me... if i dun let it out, i might burst in anger one day...

blame it on me, coz im just unpredictable, no one can understand me, not even my mom, we might look very close, but she doesnt really understand me, so, even my mom cant understand me, not even other girls will, coz he just fall in love with a devil... that's his fault then... if they say im heartless, fine, heartless is what they get...

kena Tag pulak

1. What do you like the most?
animals i guess

2. The thing(s) you desire the most.
not very desprete for anything at the moment...

3. The thing(s) you value the most.
friendship, relationship (family and friends)

4. Important treasure.
God's love.

5. The most expensive item you've bought.
Rm 180 a present for siew mei...

6. When do you feel happiness?
everyday, coz i know im blessed with family and friends

7. What made you sad recently?
arguement that time.... but now not sad anymore la...

8. Thing(s) you want to learn.
nothing

9. Your dream when you were young.
i forgot...

10. If there's US$100 million, how will you use it?
1st! give half of it back to God, then the other half! enjoy!!!

11.If you're going on a vacation, what one thing will you bring?
my clothes, my family or friends, a lot a lot of things la...

12. If you have 3 wishes.
i dunno wor... im feeling very content

13. When was the last time you cried?
yesterday... watch tv hahahahaha

14. Do you feel happiness now?
YUP!!!

15. What does life mean to you?
life is like a trial... there are a lot of things you have to go through and a lot of things that you can learn from God's beautiful creation

16. If you can only bring 3 things with you.
umm... water, purse and handphone

17. If you can only live one more year.
spend more time with God, Family and friends

18. Tag 5 person.
kayson, yannie, pui mun, ernest, yvonne

Im accepted!!

today when i woke up, there is a msg from TARC, im accepted!!!! ahahha, actually, that time i was really really blur, i din know what the msg mean, so i ask my sis,

Sis: Oh... you are accepted la...
Me: (after 5 seconds) oh... (suddenly woke up from blurness)?! har what?! AHHHH!!!yeah yeah!!!! (going crazy)
Sis: =.=" blurnya budak ni
Me: >:P

hahaha!!! im accepted!!! faster congratulate me la... ohohohoho...

then i went to bathe, change, go work...

i think im getting tired of working dy, really feel like slacking sometimes... hahhaa.. today aunty veron ask me to check the payment vouchers... check until my backache and headache also, headache bcoz there are some payment vouchers that i cannot find, then i was pissed! so many of them... backache bcoz the table is too low, until my knee, and i was sitting on a soft soft cushion, and i was half bending... pain until, cannot move after finishing everything..

YESTERDAY...
working also, then 6.30pm i got make up class, my sis as my model, yesterday i learn tv make up! really fun... and now i know actually the stars on tv shows are not as pretty as you think they ar... all because of the thick thick very thick make up! hahaha.. so, make up class also can learn a lot of things, not just make up.. really glad my mom forced me to take make up... actually, i only wanna learn hairstyling only, but my mom forced me to take the make up course also la... one more bad thing about the class is... i have to find models! if not... i cant go to class... so if any of you girls are free, pls inform me, i really really need a model every thursday night...

i think thats all... for today and yesterday..
nitez...

Pictures

>
i finally got the pictures of satuday's outing with my group...


Haha.. commander washing my feet, actually, very comfortable wan...


in mcdonals with eemay and yvonne!


me and my fav dark chocolate.. bought it in a korean mart inside galaxy ampang

finaly, in the cinema, actually, we are not allowed to take cameras inside... naughty us XD

I was happy, until...

an arguement came along... we were chatting like normal (msn), then he told me actually is mood is not good la... fine, i was trying to cheer him up, and i havent say a word of cheering him up, kena scolding pulak! he scold me is fine wan, but he keep saying about the 2 of us!!! which is not my fault, but blame me, blah blah blah... maybe to him it doesnt sound like blaming la, but if u really read what he say, 100% blaming me!!! and say as if like i dun even know how it feels, and actually, he never know what i have gone through... maybe to him its no biggie... coz im a play girl, i never really loved someone before, but the things he said to me, really make me feel..... i also dunno how to explain...

then i was so sad, really wanted him to shut up... but he still talk... until i lose my cool... then just so called yelled at him... then i really need someone to talk to, but everyone seem to be buzy except for ernest, so just IM him, but he seem to be kindda buzy la... so forget it... then i cried (not because of the arguement, coz got some memories i remambered)... until now in a bad mood...

what a day

today is a really buzy day for me, keep rushing the whole day, and i also din go for my vocal replacement... so tired, today wake up at about 10 am, then send my sis to work, about 11 something, went to the sungai buluh hospital with mom, for her check up la, until 4.30 pm... then 5 pm i got practice with yow looi they all, so buzy, until no time to eat lunch and dinner, so come back 10 something cook maggi... hahha, actually i dun feel like eating jor ge, but hor.. that davina la, keep saying, go home eat your dinner ar... if not you gastric pain again ar... hahaha, anyways what she say is very true... coz both of us also got same problem... hahaha

rite, today presentation, walao eh... nervous gila!!! coz lack of practice ma... and i always fobia last minute things wan, but everything is ok la, i hope, at least i think ok la, din embarass myself... hahaha, i was shaking and i feel a bit dizzy, dunno why when i am nervous i'll feel dizzy, hard to breath, shaking also, maybe everyone also like that la

today when i went to the hospital, i was so damn angry, the nurse was like, so sombong, like talking to us will shorten her life like that... where the bloddy hell is her mannars!!! stupid... then my mom said: dun be so angry, goverment hospitals are like that wan... then i said: this fella is going in my blog tonight... hahaha, you guys should have seen the way she talk to my mom, really.... ARGHH!! really feel like saying some dirty words to her, but cannot.. have to be patient with everyone, coz im a christian.. and also bcoz my mom is there. hahaha.. but still, im very angry bcoz of the way she talk to my mom...

today is a very tired day for me, no... actually is the whole week... haiz... well, im sleepy now, good night..