i am a softy. i not to say dont dare la, but i need to be really angry to hurt someone. because only when im angry, i loose control of my behaviour, got people tell me that they dont believe it. well then, why dont you come and try, but not when im in a patience process. when im hurt by someone else, or just dont like that someone else, i will always keep suppressing how i feel and my anger until i cant take it anymore. if towards people that i dont know much, my patience limit is shorter, but to my friends people that i care about, the limit is longer, because i couldnt really hurt them. at least i dont have the heart to do so. i would say sorry.
But then, most of the people who are my friends are all MAJORITY the ones that hurts me, not like accidentally hurt. i mean purposely hurt you. which they know its wrong and it hurts. but they just like to do it. why would i suddenly bring this up? well, i was chatting with this old classmate in school. and my secondary classmates may not be well educated, may not be a Christian, but they are the ones that really are my true friends, coz they dont hurt me at all. in fact, they stand up for me before when i was bullied by seniors.
my friend and i was talking about our life lately, what are we doing, and our problems. then i said just the same old me, i never changed a bit. and my friend say i did. im always to them a cheerful girl. im serious, there was never a day that you would see me mad, or sad, or anything la. im always smiling. well.. at that time la. then he said i dont anymore. so i just told him life has been really tough. and unfair. and how i wish i was last time when nothing is bothering me. well, he asked me, is there any bullies LOL! well i said yes, then the more i talk about the more i got sad, then we changed topic.
well, as for most of you who hadn't been bullied by anyone, take it from someone who had for her whole life. to be continued... going home now ;)
Im back. hahha, ok, when i was young im being bullied by any people, my childhood friends, my sis, my Kaiyea, then primary, i have only 1-2 friends coz Malays, Indians, and Chinese all hates me. dunno why la. then secondary. bullied by so called gangsters, and seniors. well, church? erm.. yes, there are people who bullies me and i really dislike them. Sad right? haih.
Always when i try to treat them better, and not return with how they treated me, it gets even worst. like some people who are really important to me, how u know you are important to me? well when i buy things for you. thats how, because you'll always be in my mind and i'll always think of you. but its the people who are important that purposely hurts me.
then there is Natasha i was chatting with her also. she is one friend who doesnt care about what language you speak. what size and colour you are, i've been really searching for these kind of friends. the ones who dont bully you in front of everyone. i really like her a lot. not that i dont have =) Leechoo and Pei Tze =)
then i came up with this solution on my own, i dont wanna treat them good anymore. and i wont bother about them so much anymore. in fact, i wont do anything to them in return also. i will just ignore and avoid. Natasha told me, avoid all you want, in the end, they will come back to you. well then, let them come, i dont care anymore. because friends are not suppose to hurt each other.
they encourages, they help, they care. =)
They dont discourage, they never leave you alone, and they never dont care about you =)
well, if anyone of you have this kind of things bothering you too, then do something about it. dont be a softy like me. its not good.
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