Replies to yannie, mun and SP
Yannie
i really thank you for talking to me about it today. i write it in the blog is because, 1st, my phone, cannot sms and call. so i cannot contact him, and i cannot use any of my family member's phone and not even my house phone, coz of my family's condition, f.y.i, im very poor. and the 2nd is the only time i can see him is in church. and naturaly when we are in church, we will be buzy, and no time to even talk about all these stuff. so the only way i can speak to him is through my blog. so, dun get any wrong ideas like, im trying to humiliate my bf and tell how bad he is, no. i dun mean that.
i took ur advice, i tried to talk to him, even i feel that it is meaningless, and to tell you the truth, i kindda grown tired of talking to him about anything serious. i raised the issue up and i was waiting for him to tell me something. at least one thing. but nothing. he did ask me, why i din tell him how i feel. then i ask you, how am i suppose to tell, when we dun even have a private time together? and also like you said, nobody is perfect. and everybody is different. i know jr is different from him. a lot different.
Mun
i kindda agree with you, i use my blog to express my feelings. thats why some of you may find my blog is emo. because, i dun tell my feelings to my family. of course, not all guys are like that, at least i trust that jr is not like that. i feel la ok.. i feel that he is just taking me for granted. which is not a really good thing also. and always on the outside i look happy. like awards night. im not happy at all. so now, im kindda stuck in the middle and dunno what to do. i think you and i know that, the decision i made is very wrong, but i really dunno what to do more. and of coz i definately dun wan sakai to end up like bitch. which somehow i feel that, they are quite alike already. so now im just totally LOST!
SP
could you just please reveal yourself? i really have no idea who you are. and im kindda uncomfortable with strangers leaving comment my blog, reading my blog im still ok with it la though. so if you are one of my friends. let me know ya at least. first of all. these are not about taking sides. i know that he unintentionally hurting me. and yes. i expected it already. however, this is too much. this is not one time or 2, 3 times. i reminded him. and every time i do that. what i get. ignorance, you know why? coz he forgot. and he will like everytime go. haiz... eh! this show very nice hor?
i am very tired. each time i have been giving him chances, i gave him a chance on friday after LOST practice. coz i know what he wont read my blog so fast, so i know that he hasnt read that post yet. like he said he promised me. he WILL watch with me. after the practice. Randy came to him.
Randy: yam cha with me
Jen ruw: mm~
just after i heard this response. do you know how much do i feel like crying? do you know? and just after that. i already know that there's nothing more that we can talk about. they are just so important to him, which i dun blame him as well. to me my friends are also very important. but, he actually has the time to be with me. and i think he knows how much exactly i missed him... and how much i want to be with him, coz just for the past few days i've been struggling with my assignments. and no one to really turn to. i really thought about him and he did not even go online. i know in a relationship trials will come. but now, just seems like the only problem is me. im the only one who thinks that this is a problem. where else my other party doesnt. so i think i just have to drop this issue and pretend nothing has happen.
To Baby:
if this is offending you, tell me, i will delete this post and the previous one also. i dun have any intention of hurting you, and actually, you can also do this in your blog, like i said we dun have time together. and each time we are together, i dun wanna argue with you, coz i dun wanna waste anytime being with you. i'd rather use that time to go some where with you and be happy rather than end up crying, and i trust that you know how emotional i am. today when u said i look like crying. i think you know why now. i am really seriously very dissapointed. and i am very tired. i wanna give up, but like mun said. i just cant let go. and recently u said i love you. and u know that. the problem is, yes i know that. but i can no longer feel it. baby, just loving someone is not enough. it is like words without action. sorry is also just as useless if you dun show me that you are really sorry.
somehow i just feel like im always saying what i want from you or what i dun like about you. but you never do that. you just kept quite. is it you dun wanna tell me or what? please tell me... except for the fat pei hei la... coz i know dy wan... and yes. im trying to change. give me some time.
F.Y.I the movie i wanted to watch with him was GET SMART. so can u guys imagine how long?
3 comments:
hey, dear fren~well,as a fren, i nvr want to c u in such agony~~but let me share two stories with u b4 u make any quick decision~~
1st:
there was a little gal, when she was young, she used to c her mom doing all the houseworks, mopping the floor, preparing meals, etc~~so she tot that her mom must be a good life partner, but it wasnt in her dad's eyes~~
the gal's dad had been complaining bout his loneliness~~
the gal's dad was a responsible dad, he had no bad habit, din smoke, din drink, he even spent time doing revision with his daughter~~in her eyes, her dad is the best dad, but in her mom's eyes, he isnt a good husband~~she always saw her mom crying alone in a corner in their house~~
to her, her parents deserve a good marriage~~
then the gal grew up and got married, she did wat her mom did, mopping the floor, sweeping the floor, preparing meals~~but sometimes when she looks at her husband, she found a sign of unhappiness in her husband's eyes, so did herself~~so, she tot maybe she din mop the floor clean enough, maybe her cooking was terrible, so she worked harder to make things perfect~~
then one day, when she was in the middle of mopping floor, her husband said:"honey, come listen some music with me." she yelled at her husband:"cnt u c i have lot more things to do?" jz after she finished her words, she was stunt~~soon she realized that tis happened to her parents, n she was repeating the tragedy of her parents~~she stopped her works, n asked her husband "wat do u need?" her husband replied "i jz want u to spend time to listen some music with me, it doesnt matter if the house is a bit unclean". then the gal realized that her parents loved each other so much, but her mom tot that doing all the houseworks is the way to love her husband, she spent time on doing houseworks more than spending time with her husband~
then she said to her husband " i tot u need the house to be clean, u need someone to prepare meals for u, u need someone to wash the clothes for u.." but her husband replied "that's not the most important thing~the thing i want most is u to spend some time with me", the gal then realized that wat she was doing were all nothing~~then she discussed with her husband wat they both need, then she found that her husband had done a lot for her w/o she knowing it~~both of them were loving each other with their own way which they tot is the most correct way, but they were both wrong~~ from that onwards, they had a list of needs and wants for both, then she found that doing all the things listed is much easier than mopping the floor~~
now, come to think bout tis, isnt that applied to everyone of us?v love our bf/gf, but with our own way which v think is right, but not to them~~v nvr put ourselfve on other ppl's shoes~~like me and my bf, v r still learning tis as well~~for example, i need him to quit his smoking habit, he is doing it cuz he noes that i need a healthy bf, a healthy environment for our future children(if v get married la), i stopped yelling at him when the he cnt listen to me in the phone due to the bad signal cuz i noe it wasnt his fault n i noe he doesn like it, i dun disturb him when he tells me that he is playing games with his frens~~
dear samantha, im not saying that u r wrong, but try to share tis story with jr n hope he wud understand~~
story 2:
a couple had married for so many years, but maintain a good n loving relationship, but their personalities are totally different that no one wud expect their relationship to last such long~~one day, their fren asked the wife how they managed to maintain such relationship, the wife answered "he has been like tis since i knew him, but since i love him n decided to spend my time with him for the rest of my life, i jz learn to accept his behavior and get used to it".
so sam, a relationship sometimes depend how u perceive it n whether onot u can accept it~~ i noe i have been nagging too long, so i end it here~~hope u take serious consideration~~no rush decision, k?
Winnie, you are very right and i am totally agree with you. not that i donno all this. i used to tell someone. Love is not just I Love you, love is accepting each other. but... say very easy ma. do? very hard. and ya. we have to learn all this. Sam, let's add oil together...
haha~~~im still learning hard as well~~~a very tough lesson especially i have been pampered too much which turns me a self-centered person, it's even harder to learn it~~
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