today, i read someone's blog, the person was a friend to me la, and also a church member, but that person left, i was really afraid that if i was the person who cause the person to leave church, and whether he/she hate me a not? just to make things easy that person is 'A' la ok???
if it is really me who cause A to leave i will be really sad, coz i will feel like im causing A a big change in A's future... and maybe it might be a terrible one, but i already post a comment on A's blog, dunno if A sees it or not. but i really HAVE to agree on what A says, about famous ppl are only considered as a family member in church, coz i experianced it myself. and i can totally understand how A feels, ppl just say A is immature, but other ppl say that i very miang, but on the other hand, the gf's that they have lagi miang than me...
they really say like they hate ppl like me, but in the end, their other party is worst! and they are really hypocrites, i also once thought of leaving, but i just couldn't, coz that time siew mei is just a new christian, and just for HER sake, i stayed on... i was being laughed at, judged at, and even more terrible things which i don't wish to say.. i know that my church member are terrible ppl, but what can i do? btw, not all la, some only..
and that time i was really in love with someone, they also say i naik miang, playboy and playgirl, what a match!!! i am not afraid to admit i WAS a playgirl, but that was only because i dunno the meaning of LOVE... but when i found the meaning, they hurt me like i had no feelings at all... i was so hurt when we broke up, not even siew mei knows what to do with me, all she can so is just cry, and worry about me... which im really sorry about that la...
A, i really wish i have the courage like u to walk away from the door, and never looking back... but i don't... until now, ppl still say the same old thing... but, can i stop their mouth from talking? NO, can i just abandon my group and walk away and NEVER turn back? NO, im just not daring enough to do that, still some part of me wants to stay in that awful place...
for those who doesn't have problems like me and A, u are lucky, but dun click to close with them, or u will really regret.. i did.. and im really ashamed to to tell other ppl that these are my FRIENDS... my CHURCH... i know what i say is a bit too much... but if u dun like it is ur problem, this is the truth, already many ppl experiance it... there is more than enough prove... enough said...
7 comments:
Dear Samantha,
While it might seem that leaving takes guts and bravery, it is actually a cowards way. hear me out. When you walk away from things, you no longer have to handle them, so you sort of wash your hands. It is the easiest thing to do.
On the other hand, staying back, and facing so many uncalled for accusations, is the tougher thing to do. Yes, Christians are not perfect, but we are a family. I give thanks that up until today you are still here. God loves you. I do hope that you are just ranting and have no real intention to leave, because if you do, then there will be a lot of people who will be sad. I for one am very encourage whenever i see you perform and see you around. Shows that there is a next generation and that they are growing up.
You can always contact me if you feel you need to talk to someone. take care.
God bless.
there is no reason for me to hate u my dear~~~u r one of my favourite ppl in church~~~im so sorry that my post makes u feel bad~~~yea, maybe wat ernest said was true, leaving is a coward way, i fear that the longer i stay, i will become one of the hypocrites~~i becoming one, n i dun hope i will continue to become one real hypocrite~~i fear that i wud eventually become a dumb at church n i dun wan my emotions to die~~~i could go mad if i stay~~~that makes me give up my christian walk~~so sorry that i dun have enough courage n strength to go on~~i prefer to sink into the world that is full of sins, which i find freedom of mind~~~even there are more hypocrites, i can still accept it cuz the world has nvr tried to picture a wonderful n perfect image~~but church, they tried to portray a perfect image which turns out to be the opposite of it~~n i feel so uncomfortable to stay there, it was like i wasnt supposed to be there~~u get wat i mean?but somehow sometimes i do have the intention to come back to church~~jz i cnt stay long evitime when i come back~~~hope i wun discourage u~~i let u noe cuz u r one of the leaders n i blive that u have the wisdom to judge n make the right decision~~i noe that my decision is wrong in the eyes of other church members, but i chose it n there is no turning back~~~wish u good luck n all the best dear~~i rili like u, u r among those who tell the truth~~n that's y i dun hate u~~i feel comfortable to talk to u~~love u, always~~
add on~~~i have tried coming back to church, yes i did~~n i tried to imagine that a two-months rest have made me feel better, but the result turned out to be a 'no'~~so sorry to disappoint u~~~
you know who said - its ok... what ever u do, its ur choice, i cannot force u to do what i want u to do rite?? i understand, and dun worry, im not discouraged... but just promise me u will come back and see me, and take extra good care of urself.... ok??
u have my words then~~i will come back to c u once in a while~~but not necessarily to c u in church wat~~~can come out yamcha mah~~~
hahaha... get to see u den okay jor... anywhere also can ^^
Dear sister,
God's call is not for us to win the race, but to FINISH the race.
We may not like the race, and we may hope to take the easy way out.
But sometimes, that is life.
We can only see a few hundred meters or even up to a few KM before us.
But this is one race that we don't know where the ending is yes.
Let us run the race not only or the prize! That is what the song is about!
Let us run the race and run with each other!
God Bless!
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