Soo Jen Ruw

you idiot... you hurt me again and again. though, we broke up but we havent completely forget about each other and still have some feelings towards each other. you said that you would let me hit you until im satisfied. you broke this promise, you broke ur every promise to me. you owe me a Birthday present, you still havent give me. you left a lot of memories for me until it kills me everytime i think, its really suffering.

when we started, i didnt think we would last that long, because to me, before you, love never existed and not until you came, fell in love with me, though i hurt you so many times you still did not give up on me. u told me im the first girl who also made you really loved. andthe first girl you had to wait so long for. 2 and a half years of waiting is really long, and to you the time is not really wasted. because in the end you got what you wanted. i didnt expect we would last quite long, and each and everytime i see you, my love for you grows stronger and stronger, but i did not appreciate you that much,

i started to change in the process, changed into the another person, another character, no longer the same girl you fell in love with at first, i know you miss that me. i didnt listen to you. but i was trying so hard to change, but that character is already stucked into me already. i think you really did the right thing of dumping me, because, if you havent you wontbe in heaven now right?

i remember you asked me if ever there's a chance for you to really say a proper goodbye to me, and you wish to hug me and kiss me for the very last time. i was still quite angry at you at first, but i dont know why, something keep saying i should say yes. and i did. but we never get to chance to say goodbye after all. but, when i hugged your brother, i felt like im hugging you instead. i dunno why i feel that way. maybe because of the size. the memories you gave me are so precious no one ever had this because, im in the longest relationship with you, and im really proud of that, because our experiances are all first times, i mean most of them la. i also never loved a guy this long in my whole life also. and also some of them also ends with both of us.

memories like:-
*meeting each others parents
*going sabah with my mom
*playing L4D almost every night with your buddies
*our first subway
*our first bbq plaza
*Forcing me to say I Love You, in the end i ended up saying IOU~
*our arguments stupid and serious ones
*walking in KL with bare feet with me
*meeting mine and your relatives and i mean almost all of them.
*faking my hand is a machine gun and other ppl in the complex are zombies. and you started to shoot them with my hand.
*Running in the rain to the car together.
*our first snorkling together
*we love this song together, "When God Made You" we planned to sing for ppl's wedding, but dont have the chance to
*Went to the Eye of Malaysia our first time
*Making silly voices in the car to make me laugh.
*cooking for me. and you're really a good cook.
*helping me to do my assignments until late night
*helping you to do your assignment until 6am in the morning and you fell asleep!
*Going in and out of pet shops that we see.
*bullying my pets. (hitam and Mylo)
*Crying in front of me when you feel miserable.
*my first time going Sunway lagoon with you.
* Watching movies
*Arguing about where to live what house we want, arguing about children's name.
*when im mad you will stop the car one side until you made me laugh.
*dissapointing each other.
*went Chris Tomlin's concert.
*calling me nicknames like baby kangaroo, and subway (which i dont know why)
*buying you the jaime oliver cookbook that cost so much, but seeing that happy face of yours just doesnt matter anymore.
*Sharing our past lives how we lived and how we treated another ppl last time.

there are so much, until, i cannot stop crying when i keep typing.. i havent even finish, and i couldnt take it. i didnt know you called me subway, not until Sat when dillon told me

Dillon: Subway.
Me: what subway?
Dillon: Jenruw gave you this nickname
Me: no he didnt...
Dillon: yes he did... he just didnt tell you.

so here, i wanna post all our pictures. and this will be the very last time i will be doing this too.

the picture you took of me

im happy that, most of the pictures of you with me are stupid faces or smiles. because looking back at those pictures i believe that you were really happy with me. you like to annoy me when i ask for a really nice picture with you smiling but instead you keep making stupid faces. but those were the times i really laughed out loud.

we did stupid things to make each other laugh, and that time i feel so stupid. but now, thinking back, i feel happy. baby kangaroo this nickname is when, we went Chris tomlin's concert, and we all were hungry, and got out to get something to eat. and after that, hanging outside, we were "fighting" like, imagining us in a boxing ring.. then i keep jumping with my my fist holding up and i punched him. he just keep laughing at me.. but then im not satisfied coz it didnt hurt him at all. and i punched really hard. he still laugh. and in his previous blog. he stated hitting him with soft punches. when i read i was like.. what soft?! where got soft?! hahahha. im happy now that i have these memories. and my greatest present from you its on valentines day. you gave me all the things that were memorable and important to you. which i loved it so much.

so with this memories, i wont forget you, and i can never do that. so, i can only live on and move on with my life like you always tell me too. so... See you soon you jerk... i'll claim my hugs and kisses and hitting and my birthday present when i see you in heaven.

HTC EVO

me likey this phone! =)
me wanna buy it.
me will! =)

can anyone help me find out how much is this? pls~~~~

Communication is really very important.

yes it is, it really is, ESPECIALLY in FAMILIES. haih.. ok, yesterday, i was really freaking pissed off why? because, i had practice, when i came down my sister wasnt there at all when she suppose to be, so i ask ppl her group they said dunno, i think she went back dy.

then i ask wen cheong, oh, she is fetching ppl home, but then, by this time, all of them would be home dy wor, then you guys sure ask, why not call her? hahahah she left my mom's phone in the church, how am i even suppose to call? when i got there, everyone was already over, packing their laptops to leave soon.

and of coz have to thank you yuke bin and eemay for taking the trouble to send me home. =) but what i dont get is, why cant she come and AT LEAST tell me? would it be so hard to just go upstairs and tell me that she will be back after fetching members home? rather than expect that ppl WILL tell me, they did, they said that she went home. i called my mom, she is angry and worried.

if she had her phone and i couldnt call i'd be angry but i will also, got used to it dy, but this is my MOM's phonewhich is working perfectly well, and she FORGOT to bring it with her?! haih...
i was really pissed off that time until i was really talking rudely in public. not rude as in foul words but i dont even care what ppl thinks anymore, i will just scold her through my mom and my mom will scold her.

my mom just asked me to wash up and sleep, so i did, while almost falling asleep, my sis came home. and haih... i could really sleep anymore, if you know my family, my mom scolds quite loud. hehehe, and i heard is "your own sister you dont tell, expect other ppl to tell" and a lot more la. i forgot. but this is true, i AM her sister whether she likes it or not, and she IS my sister whether i like it or not. so we are still responsible for each other, and she has the responsibility in looking out for me. EVERY SIBLINGS do.

ok for all you who has siblings, treat them better. communicate more often, oh and one thing, i really admire the Liew siblings, coz they are surprizingly and crazily close. and to the youngest, u also have to be responsible, even to your big siblings.

Lonely.

hahahah im not emoing dont worry, i just feel really lonely here. all by myself. im not sad. but just always alone, with nothing to do, no one to talk to, i mean how long can MSN keep me company right? and i never liked to be alone on my own. oh, grams went to genting, mom and sis went to work, its all me alone. in this small and cold little room. eating myself. playing myself. ya.. very pathetic. i know that. LOL

well, what to do, its not like i have a choice. i have to stay here, how nice if someone could really come by and surprise me =) AHAHAHAHAH!!! okie... im done making myself seem so pathetic. thats all! =)

Song Fest.

hey guys, i just wanna randomly update about whats going on in my life now, well, im currently buzy, in somethings, and of course, Song fest, in charging of song fest is really hard, though im not the one conducting, but sometimes, when the conductor is not coming then i have to, which makes it really difficult for me, and i dont even know how to conduct anything at all,

so i already foresee things like lack of discipline during practices and distractions, and these things can easily get you angry. especially when ppl dont listen to you, you have to keep raising up your voice. maybe until u can loose your voice too. and one more thing, complaints. members will tend to complain about stuffs like hungry, or tired. or something else, well, that i understand. so to all you who are singing on song fest. pls dont complain, or get distracted or wander around with your chats or gossips. if its hard enough for u to come for practice, its even harder for the person in charge and the conductor to come for practice. especially when all you dont listen. so be more considerate. and the last thing that i want to do is to scold my members, but i gotta say, they're making it awfully difficult.

and always remember song fest are for saving souls, and praising God. not for your own glory.

and of course some TIPS, would be great wouldn't it? ok, guys, always remember, sing from your diaphragm. dont sing from your throat or your nose, if u sing from ur nose, you will sound like a duck, if you sing from ur throat, you sound like you're being strangled.

and i know you guys would always forget to use ur diaphragm. and of coz, know and understand the lyrics, know what you're singing, and why are you singing, set. your. motives. right.
and expressions, happy for happy songs, hopeful, sad, brave. and of course the sound of your voice, when your voice have to be powerful, the only way is your diaphragm. if u use ur throat. you'll sound like shouting. and that wouldnt be very nice. and for sopranos, make sure every high notes you reach, make sure your voice is ROUND. if its sharp and squeeky like a rubber duck, that thats not really pleasent to the judges's ears.

and last, this is very important, get used to looking at your CONDUCTOR! coz he/she will be giving you the counts of when to come in and all. and your expressions you voice so even when you're practicing, dont hold the paper up high until it cover's ur face. my members does that alot. and if they would even listen to me, they wouldnt do it anymore. try to memorize your lyrics as soon as possible so that you can focus on your conductor. his/her every moves. yup. i teach you basic stuffs, but this are the stuffs that all of you, will always do and forget. if you can perfect this kind of basics, then i think you'll be a lot better than last time.

Leechoo's drawing. AHAHHAHAHAH!

was chatting with Leechoo about my lunch today: SUBWAY!!! today's sub-of-the-day is really yummy~! so i think i'll reserve my every monday's lunch for subway~ ahahahahha