Uncomfortable

ever since Jenruw died, so many ppl have been posting status on his wall and all, well, at first, its understandable. so i didnt mind, but then, it doesnt seem to stop, and it makes me very uncomfortable, i dont mind happy memories, but things so emo makes me emo, like happy things i've been through with him. but quite some ppl will talk about sad stuff about him with me and telling it to me also.

yes, i know its already one month, i dont really wanna remind myself. so that i wont dwell on these kind of feeling, i want to move on, i dont want to feel sorrow. its ok that a person who has a special connection with him says all these emo stuff, like his best buddies, his girlfriend, his family. but then just some ppl who maybe, not so close with him, or rarely talk to him keep posting on his wall and somemore about emo stuffs. im so sorry to say, but its really getting very ZAI!

i mean, his mom moved on... why can all of us? isnt his mom the most sad one? she can do it. why cant the rest? aunty always appear happy, and thats why i just enjoy looking at her sometimes. plus she is the one who gave birth to him, watch him grow, teach him, and loved him the most. (not including God la) she is such a strong women, and i can see from that she doesnt look pretending at all. i've been avoiding and avoiding all these post, but its TOO much. yes, he impacted a lot of ppl, im happy about that too. but somethings just.... enough is enough.

sometimes, only remembering him in your heart is just enough.doesnt mean i dont say anything i dont feel anything, i still feel sad, but right now, i just have to make myself let go, and when i am strong enough, i will remember back every 5th August. but now is just not a good time to remind myself anything related to him. i just hate feeling this way. all will say, time will heal, yes this is true, but time is slow.