Unconditional & Conditional Positive Regard

what is this? this is one of the subs im learning this sem which is psychology.

So what is Positive Regard? it is (love, care, respect, acceptance and warmth). this condional and unconditional is how u give ur love, care respect and etc. for the sake of those who still dunno how is conditional and unconditional, i will give u an example.

Lets say 2 students got their exam results.

CONDITIONAL + Reg. = (if u get straight As, i will buy u a handphone)
UNCONDITIONAL + Reg. = (its ok, next time try to do better)

means u give ur love unconditionally. my mom USED to treat me with Conditional + Regard. but only when i was in kindergarden. LOL. then primary, my Kai ma, also treats me like that, but just sometimes la. so i can say im filled with Unconditional + regard from ppl around me.

then my teacher said this to the class, " do you know, now majority children and adults are all having Conditional + Regards?" because parents tends to do this kind of condition to MAKE the children study hard, which is NOT healthy. so now the children will grow up to practice the same thing.

maybe thats why im not good in studies? and i dont have high expectation. LOL because my mom dont treat me like that after im in primary? LOL. i only remembered my mom told me, "even though u can study very good. get all As, but do u know how many excellent scholars are jobless? getting all As is just to make ur cert looks colourful, but in the end when u die, the colourful cert doesnt mean anything at all. so dont go for all these stuffs. instead, if u ar spiritually strong, God will definately provide u what u need, and learn to be contented with what u have. and not to be greedy."

my mom is not telling me not to study la, but she just said, as long as u studied enough for u to support urself and ur family. is enough. but of course getting a good job with ur good grades is a good thing if u can achieve. but its not point stressing urself out until u forget the most important thing in ur life. GOD. why i say this? many members i've seen la. once exam, dun wanna come church, those whose mother dont let is a different story la. this is why my mom had never stopped me from going to church and practices even during my exams. though i have to be honest. my spiritual life is not really good as well la. but im trying la. LOL.

and my tutor told the class, those who are in the conditional + regard, is pitiful, because they wont know how to give UNCONDITIONAL + regards to the their children the next time. coz they are being brought up that way. so my teacher challenged the class, try to treat ppl with unconditional = regard, and its not easy. and dont expect anything back.

and i feel Christians nowadays also gives ppl conditional + regard. agree?

i feel really lucky and happy. though at times i am quite greedy la. so which are u?